IT'S EQUAL TO SELFISHNESS
A good number of articles that have gone up this wall relate to relationships or family for the truth is, many of the problems of our people begin in love relationships. Those articles never claimed to have all the answers but are based on the idea that a problem shared is half solved. This reflections, the feedback or the think-through about the issues discussed do somehow become helpful to someone and even with one person getting needed help is worth the bother. For that reason, let's just do another one and from onset say that the unresolved conflicts we find in our lives can be summarized with one word, selfishness. To be unresolved, a conflict requires just one of the 2 parties to be selfish. There are times when both parties are selfish and that makes it even harder. For a moment, let's unveil the true face of selfishness and to begin we ask, who among you is the provider in that relationship? If both of you are working and unless agreed, a woman cannot say like some do, 'your money is our money but my money is my money' that is simply selfish. Save for those women is a growing number of men being provided for by women. These men are given including pocket money by their wives or girlfriends. They just sit in the house to watch movies or are out with friends as their wives stay put on daily grind. Sometimes, these men's women spend huge sums of money to start businesses for their men and the story goes.....they can't maintain business because of laziness. They are used to handouts and when they keep the business, they bring no cent home to support their partners. These growing crop of men are too selfish for life. They want comfort at the expense of a hustling woman. It is uncouth that only one partner foots the bills consistently without help from the other regardless of who earns more. Everyone must contribute something. Of course there are agreed arrangements where one partner stays home for kids and house chores. That is a perfect arrangement if all parties are comfortable. Finances are a big source of conflicts in homes but underlying is usually an aspect of selfishness. Other sources of conflicts like infidelity don't escape selfishness because it's in pursuit to fulfilment of personal desires. While it is naive to assume that your relationship is fireproof and will last forever, it maybe necessary to make arrangements that protect you from the exceses of a selfish creature before they destroy your body and soul. Just point out the selfishneas when you see it and indicate your limits of such acts. James 4:1-2 states that fights and quarrels arise from selfish desires and passions waging war within people.
@Stephen Mungai
