OF TALK...WHOLESOME OR NOT

 OF TALK...WHOLESOME OR NOT

Kenya is a democratic state unlike many States worldwide especially in connection to freedom of speech and expression. That is something to be proud of as Kenyans more so when it seems that the dark days of forced abductions and murder of state critics seem to be behind us. That said, it is also worth noting that the right in Article 33 of Kenyan 2010 constitution has some limitations to it and as expressly stated, 'This right is not absolute and does not extend to propaganda for war, incitement to violence, or hate speech." We are getting close to the general elections next year and in such a period, the right to freedom of speech will be enjoyed to greater length. The right seemed to have been enjoyed a few days ago by the President himself when he accused his former deputy of impregnating and killing a college girl. This was in response to the former deputy's remark that the President was having sleepless nights and so emaciated that his ears had propped higher. Thinking of the 2 'insults' critically tempts me to think that the Presidents accusation could be true because, I expected the accused to sue the president considering the gravity of that accusation but so far, he has taken no action. What is more curious is that the family of the deceased girl is yet to take action and seek justice for their kin after new evidence from the statement by the head of state. The words by the President also raises a serious moral question making him as guilty as the person who did the crime because, if he was a good person, he would not have waited until now to expose a criminal. It reminds me of a Kikuyu saying, 'Gūtirī mūici na mūcūthīthīria' which loosely translates to, 'if you watch a thief stealing but do nothing, then you are also a thief'. Politicians and their words is a game at a dirty level where most of us wish not to play but how do we look at ourselves as regards how we speek? Maybe to ask you...have you ever said words more so about a person or to a person and later regretted saying them or just wishing it was possible to swallow them back? Am the type that is careful with words but recently, I was so worked up about a person and said 3 words about them that made a friend of mine angry and for sure, I should not have said that. It was just unnecessay. James 3:5-6 says that the tongue is a small spark that can set a massive forest on fire. With the tongue, jobs have been lost, marriages broken and hatred created in families. You must not say it especially when angry. It is better to pull aside until the anger calms down. Let's just close by saying that we should avoid slander, lies, and "unwholesome talk" in favor of words that build others up, bring peace, and reflect wisdom (Ephesians 4:29, Proverbs 15:1)

Or shouldn't we?

@Stephen Mungai

THE BOYCHILD'S AWAY WALK

 THE BOYCHILD'S AWAY WALK

We talked of GBV two weeks ago and the statistics were crazy that 4 out of 10 adult women have experienced violence in their adulthood. One reader though urged us to also look at the flipside of the coin and according to her, she thought that "the sad part is ,when it is a man violated ,we do not take it seriously, but when it's a lady,we even demonstrate ". Her advice to ladies was that, " If you cannot love them as it should or forgive them, please let them go in peace.The same society that will judge you for walking away is the same society that will talk when you die of depression. Always choose you, self-love first." I found the ideas expressed here very reasonable especially in defence to the boy child, who finds himself forgotten, so many times. If the trends continue as it is, then the statistics could tilt against the men so that more men as compared to women may end up as victims of GBV. This is so true because as women have become stronger over the years as a result of affirmative action campaigns, men have become weaker and not being able to stand against more powerful women. The evidence is all around us. Just to mention, a storyline has been doing rounds that women are filling nightclubs and men increasingly becoming a no-show in the entertaiment spots once ruled by men. In the past, men left their wives at home for fun-nights but now, it looks like tables have turned because, wives are leaving husbands home for the night-outs. Reasons are many but mainly, women are increasingly developing deeper pockets than men. They can afford it. They are doing better in business and a look at the corporate world tells you that women are more in the driving seats of successful businesses today, more as in the past. Physically also, women seem to be getting the guts to stand up to many physical threats from men. Ofcourse, when a man loses the financial muscle, he also tends to lose the physical muscle as well. I draw my attention to a recent case in Nairobi where a woman stood infront of a Matatu to run a confrontational argument with the driver. When temperatures reached boiling point, she took a huge stone and smashed the Matatu's wind screen. It is not very clear what caused the confrontation but the power she displayed amazed me big. If this is how powerful women have become, then every boychild needs a self assessment of their relationships and if he is continuously pressed to a corner with no voice and with occassions of physical violence, then the boychild should just walk away....... just as they dissappeared from the Nightclubs. Maybe that is the only way to make peace and be a child of God just as Matthew 5:9 says, 'Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.' 

@Stephen Mungai

DAVID’S COME BACK PLAN

 

DAVID’S COME BACK PLAN

Tabitha came over to David‘s Kahawa Sukari apartment on a Friday evening. Getting into the house gave her an immediate feeling that something was not okay with her brother. She had always known David as the organized type of men that are a rare species in the ever-high world of Human Male Machoism, chauvinism and bigotry. She sometimes found his brother too organized for life and that amused her many times. She had never forgotten a story when they were growing up when she had borrowed an HB pencil from him. The brother told her to pick from his bag. As usual David’s bag contained well organized books and a geometrical set sitting well placed above the topmost book. The books were all covered double. A brown cover with a clear plastic paper cover on top. David’s books never really got old. On the day, she opened the bag, picked up the Geometrical set, opened it and removed the HB Pencil. She used it for an hour and returned it. When David later opened the set, he was angry at her because she had returned the Pencil on the opposite side of the right position, the other end of the set where she had removed it. Tabitha apologized but the incident remained in her memory years later. That is how organized David was. So, this Friday, Tabitha found a heap of clothes on his 3-seater Sofa. David was sitting on a one-seater sofa. Bob Marlley’s, ‘No woman No cry’ reggae hit was playing loud from the music system that sat on a corner table on one end of the living room near the TV stand. In this period of distress, he had listened to this song repeatedly. He was hoping that Sarah had the backbone to carry on and wished that he had enough strength himself to tell her so. Unfortunately, he himself was also not in a very good place. He called Sarah once every day or every two days, only managing to tell her not to worry that all will be well. Sarah felt though, that David’s voice was not that convincing. She felt the gap. She felt the distance. She perceived the now clear aperture that was leaking the love that had existed between her and David. How this vent could be covered is the answer that Sarah found a little too hard to come by. Tabitha embraced David, sat on the seat’s arm next to David looking deeply into his eyes with great concern. ‘So, what is the matter with you bro?’ She asked. David leaned forward, buried his face into his hands and said nothing. ‘Talk to me Bro. What’s up with you?’ Tabitha asked again. This time she placed her hand on top of David’s head pushing him to sit up. David sat up and while rubbing his eyes with his right hand he said, ‘Siz, am devastated. I have no idea what to do. Imagine Sarah is Pregnant!!’ ‘What!!!??’, Tabitha asked, her eyes wide open and fist on her wide-open mouth. ‘But how?’ She asks further. ‘Had you not told me that she was using Copper T birth control?’ She asks again looking at her brother, whose eyes were beginning to appear watery. David said nothing and again fell face to his hands. They sat in dead silence for a few minutes before David straightened up and said, ‘Yes. We had control in place but whatever happened, I have no idea’ Tabitha lifts her brother’s hand to stand him up then gives him a warm hug and says, ‘It is okay bro. We must accept things as they are because we cannot change them. I’ll help you plan on how to alter your earlier plans so you could take care of Sarah and the baby because this is the time that Sarah needs you most.’ Tabitha helped to bring David’s house to order, and they talked late into the night about how to handle things going forward. After all considerations, David felt a big relief because he finally had a plan on how to move forward with life.

@Stephen Mungai

GBV. THE SURFERER, THE SILENT AND THE RISK

 GBV. THE SURFERER, THE SILENT AND THE RISK

The story of Steve Godia, the man whose girlfriend poured boiling water on his upper body while he slept, is not only sad and sobering, but calls all of us to the table, to discuss the rising cases of Gender Based Violence (GBV). It was chilling to watch him in hospital bed with severe burns on his upper body and his head. I couldn't help myself but ask, 'is there a reason that is good enough to justify such violence? Is cheating reason enough? I am not sure. Why Godia's case needs a discussion is because some us, our friends, neigbours and family members are facing physical abuse from their partners but still remain in the abusive relationships for one reason or another. I am sure that some of us know people going through GBV but still hold on to their partners. I personally know several but most times, it comes hard to tell someone to leave their partners. Maybe we need to do a small survey because I guess that all of us are either currently in a serious relationship or have been recently there. And so we ask, are you currenty in an abusive relationship? Have you ever been beaten by your partner? Or it was just a slap? Could violence be the reason why you abandoned your relationship? Probably we won't get an answer from anyone here but sometimes, your silent answer may be a wake up call for you to do self assessment before things get worse. Among the reasons people stay is children but imagine the case of Faith Nyaga found by her child in a pool of blood, having been slaughtered by the husband who is now on the run!!  Imagine if she had stayed in an abusive relationship for children's sake....are the kids better now? I guess that the days when people were told to persevere in marriage especially with unreasonable abusive partners are long gone because the silent surferers risks their own life. Safety first. And that should come from the respect your person accords you. Someone who talks you down, uses uncensored dirty insults towards you, talks to you anyhow they feel like......There are partners who have no chills throwing punches, slaps and kicks at you. Others have side dishes or Mpango wa Kando and don't care whether you know it or not. Some dare to bring their mpangos to your very house and be like uta-do?. Some misuse their money burdening you with family expenses but when questioned, they quickly become violent. This kind of disrespect if allowed to go on spirals to dangerous violence that may land you in a coffin. Is it worth it? We need to respect ourselves enough not to allow such disrespect, children or not, provision or not. God will take care of you when you leave. It's better than leaving the relationship in a coffin. Unesco report of 02.10.2025 reported that 34% of women aged 15–49 in Kenya have experienced physical violence. Those numbers are alarming and need action to end this madness. Though skewed towards women, for sure, there are also men who are  suffering from domestic violence. My pen's ink is running out so must I sign off, better with a biblical verse. Ephesians 5:21: Encourages submitting to and respecting one another out of reverence for Christ. Let's continue once i putchase another pen.

@Stephen Mungai

DOWN IN THE DUMPS

 DOWN IN THE DUMPS

The days that followed were neither easy for Sarah to bear or light for David to carry. Sarah wondered just how she would bring her fourth year to completion. How would she be able to carry the pregnancy to term? She felt a heavy anger towards her friend Joyce for recommending a birth control method that failed. But just how a Copper IUD failed…. she could not understand. This was also a problem for David. She had also agreed to a Copper IUD after he had researched a little about it. The chances of failure were said to be minimal and considering that it was not a hormonal control method, the Copper T method did not bring imbalances to a woman's hormonal system meaning that someone could remove the copper T and immediately conceive. Their research on the method was agreeable to both and that is the reason they settled for it. But now, here they were. The biggest problem for Sarah would be how to break the news to her parents. She was sure that the news would be devastating to them. She was debating in her mind whether to keep mum until she gave birth or just take courage and face it as it was by telling them the truth. She was stressed and did not sleep well for some days that followed. She had no idea who to tell. Of course, not her friend Joyce because as now, she was very angry at her. Something unusual happened though that made Sarah even more stressed. David was not calling her every day as he normally did and when he did, he didn’t have much to say beyond greetings. During these days, she cried a lot. Why did David seem like he was abandoning her? She did not feel like eating or doing anything. She stayed holed up in her bedsitter house in Kahawa Wendani. Most times by day, she would close all the windows and draw back the curtains to make it dark so that she could stay in bed. When she was completely hungry, she would go to the fridge, pull out milk to eat with some slices of bread. Was the pregnancy to make her lose her relationship with David? Maybe he was not different from the men who show you heaven but run away immediately a challenge appears. Probably they were right, them that said that all men are D**s. Sarah was totally down in the dumps. But she noticed that David had probably not told his family because she still received calls from them every few days. Tabitha called occasionally to ask if all was good. She chose not to receive the call when she was in bad shape but usually called back after trying to straighten herself up. Tabitha never noticed anything. David's mother still called at least twice in a week. She avoided the calls and only called back when she felt better. However, David’s Mother noticed something awkward in her voice and mood and told her that if all was not well, she could go visit her to talk things out. Sarah told her she was okay, only suffering from a cold. David’s mother doubted it especially after the second time she called. David’s mother called David to ask if all was well. He was not in high spirits as normal. She asked exactly what the issue with them was, but David said all was well. David was also down low. He wondered how he would take up a father’s responsibilities. Simply put, he was not ready. He had had other plans. He wanted to establish his own business first in likeness to what he had already experienced in Eric’s Westlands offices. He had become good at programming and would make good business from it. He also had plans to further his studies by doing a master’s degree in software development. With Sarah, he had planned to travel to several world holiday destinations first before settling down to family life but now, he would be a father even before setting foot to Mallorca, which was top of his dream destinations. What to do now? Tabitha. Him and Tabitha were very close. She was always the voice of reason in his life. Every time he was faced with big or difficult decisions, Tabitha gave him advice that always seemed to work. He made up his mind to talk to Tabitha about the pregnancy he and Sarah were faced with. So did David. He called Sarah and set up a meeting for the week that followed.

@ Stephen Mungai

FAMILIES CONNECTION

 FAMILIES CONNECTION

As their relationship grew, David was always proud to introduce Her girlfriend Sarah to his friends and family. Eric, David's cousin, met Sarah first in his Westlands office when David took her along one Friday afternoon. David would then do about 2 hours of his programming project as they chatted away the afternoon. Sarah was easy to relate to and so was David told by Eric afterwards. He thought that David's new girlfriend was a good person. From then henceforth, they were in that office many times and Sarah always got amused at what the two gentlemen did with those laptops. One Sunday as the Joshua's were having their monthly meeting, David told the family that he had a new girlfriend and would come with her during the next meeting. When the next came, David and Sarah were early. Sarah met the whole family. At first, she was nervous but just as an easy person David was to relate to, so was David's family. At first, Sarah spent a lot of time in the kitchen with Hellen, Tabitha and their mother. Sarah told about her home and family as well as how they met and formed a friendship with David. They were all easy to relate to and so Sarah had an easy time blending in. When the meeting officially began, David formerly introduced Sarah as his girlfriend to the family. They were happy for them and wished the pair all good. From that day on, Sarah became like part of the family. Be it visiting Mike's Kitengela home and playing with the kids who became very fond of her or getting calls from David's mum to check on her; she became like one of them. However, it took quite a long time before David met Sarah's family. Sarah had mentioned to her parents about her relationship, but both were a little sceptical, encouraging her to focus instead on her studies. It took so much effort for Sarah to try convincing them that she was in control and knew exactly what she was doing. Afterwards whenever they talked on phone, the mother always asked about David and Sarah would tell her stories including visits to David's family. Sarah's father, however, remained tightlipped regarding the subject, only sharing his reservations with his wife on the issue. David had always wanted to visit Sarah's home and when Sarah had planned with her parents, time came for the visit. David borrowed his father's Honda CRV vehicle and took along with him his best friend Nick. Sarah was also with her friend Joyce for the trip. They did some foodstuffs shopping and set out for Kitui. From Kitui town, it was another ride of more than 70KM to Ivinga-Nzia village. The village, then, looked quite remote with no electricity connection. Water was sourced from distant cisterns and carried on cattle pulled carts. The houses were made of clay bricks and iron sheet roofs. They all had a good time enjoying Muthokoi and the family telling village stories to the visitors. David had a lot of time spent with Musau, Sarah's brother, discussing school and college plans. Musau was waiting to join campus later in the year, also hoping to do IT. Sarah's other siblings were younger. Syokau was in form two and the last born Mutinda in class 8. The trip was good, and David felt that their relationship would become much stronger now, with their families involved. 

@Stephen Mungai

THE NSE AND A TALE OF TWO INVESTORS

 THE NSE AND A TALE OF TWO INVESTORS

I have noticed a big hype over the last few months as regards investing in the stock market. I have also got questions from a number of my friends on how to go about investing in the stock market and hopefully, I answered in a helpful way. Having invested in Nairobi Stock Exchange(NSE) before, am not so much of a greenhorn in this area but maybe to delve more on the subject could be helpful to someone. But first, for the sake of someone who doesn't want to read further, we can hereby summarise this whole story by saying that making money from NSE requires character which we can also call patience. The second thing is understanding the business of the company whose shares one wants to purchase including prospects for future profitability. For patience, if you cannot lock your money for one year without meaningful profits or growth of your investment, maybe the stock market is not for you. Just to explain, KPC has an IPO chance for investors to buy shares until 19th this month and so, at only 9 bob per share. The question is, should someone  buy the shares or not? An understanding of  business will tell you that KPC enjoys monopoly in storage and distribution of petroleum products in EA region and still growing after recent acquisition of KPRL. It could be a good investment but only for the patient. To illustrate  let's take Safaricom as an example. Safaricom IPO was in 2008 and sold a share at Ksh 5. On the first day trading, shares sold at  Ksh.7 but went later on a downward trend hitting a low of Ksh.2.5 for a long time. The share price rose above the initial Ksh 5. only after 5 years. The same share is Ksh 33 today meaning that the patient over the years are reaping the benefits. Simply put stock trading is more of a long term trade unless one has several millions to make substantial gains with even a shilling change in share price. To conclude is a tale of two investors and we start with yours truly. He understood the businesses of around 5 companies that he bought and true to it between 6 months and one year, he sold out all and made on average close to double the investment but truth be told, he had only invested like 200K in it. Happy exit? Yeah. But he still thought a year was too long and alternatively, he invested in other ventures that promised quick short term returns that never was to be. He can now tell you for free that short term ...huge returns... is most of the time a fallacy. We call the second investor John. He is about 70 if not approaching there and has been in stock business for long. John is a billionaire and one of top ten highest individual investors at the NSE. I used to serve him somewhere and he was very knowledgeable sometimes reading the market months before major shifts. He moved around with an old car manufactured in early 2000's and always wore his trademark white photographer jacket which would sometimes get torn after being worn year after year. Maybe that is the extent of the  patience that is required to succeed at the NSE. But he is top ten at NSE with a portfolio of over 2B but in him, you read patience in walk, talk and conduct. He is wealthy but not bent on showing wealth in pomp and color but rather growing wealthy in strategic painstaking stock trades. He is always growing his portfolio, adding and adding, never concerned about quick gains coz his policy, wealth grows slowly with patient strategic purchase of prospective stocks. And so, even with NSE hype, do not try the stock market if you are a short term investor or short of character because to make wealth in NSE, someone has to be vereeerrrrryyyyy paaaaaatttttiiiiiieeennnnnt. Need I say more?

@Stephen Mungai