GBV. THE SURFERER, THE SILENT AND THE RISK

 GBV. THE SURFERER, THE SILENT AND THE RISK

The story of Steve Godia, the man whose girlfriend poured boiling water on his upper body while he slept, is not only sad and sobering, but calls all of us to the table, to discuss the rising cases of Gender Based Violence (GBV). It was chilling to watch him in hospital bed with severe burns on his upper body and his head. I couldn't help myself but ask, 'is there a reason that is good enough to justify such violence? Is cheating reason enough? I am not sure. Why Godia's case needs a discussion is because some us, our friends, neigbours and family members are facing physical abuse from their partners but still remain in the abusive relationships for one reason or another. I am sure that some of us know people going through GBV but still hold on to their partners. I personally know several but most times, it comes hard to tell someone to leave their partners. Maybe we need to do a small survey because I guess that all of us are either currently in a serious relationship or have been recently there. And so we ask, are you currenty in an abusive relationship? Have you ever been beaten by your partner? Or it was just a slap? Could violence be the reason why you abandoned your relationship? Probably we won't get an answer from anyone here but sometimes, your silent answer may be a wake up call for you to do self assessment before things get worse. Among the reasons people stay is children but imagine the case of Faith Nyaga found by her child in a pool of blood, having been slaughtered by the husband who is now on the run!!  Imagine if she had stayed in an abusive relationship for children's sake....are the kids better now? I guess that the days when people were told to persevere in marriage especially with unreasonable abusive partners are long gone because the silent surferers risks their own life. Safety first. And that should come from the respect your person accords you. Someone who talks you down, uses uncensored dirty insults towards you, talks to you anyhow they feel like......There are partners who have no chills throwing punches, slaps and kicks at you. Others have side dishes or Mpango wa Kando and don't care whether you know it or not. Some dare to bring their mpangos to your very house and be like uta-do?. Some misuse their money burdening you with family expenses but when questioned, they quickly become violent. This kind of disrespect if allowed to go on spirals to dangerous violence that may land you in a coffin. Is it worth it? We need to respect ourselves enough not to allow such disrespect, children or not, provision or not. God will take care of you when you leave. It's better than leaving the relationship in a coffin. Unesco report of 02.10.2025 reported that 34% of women aged 15–49 in Kenya have experienced physical violence. Those numbers are alarming and need action to end this madness. Though skewed towards women, for sure, there are also men who are  suffering from domestic violence. My pen's ink is running out so must I sign off, better with a biblical verse. Ephesians 5:21: Encourages submitting to and respecting one another out of reverence for Christ. Let's continue once i putchase another pen.

@Stephen Mungai

DOWN IN THE DUMPS

 DOWN IN THE DUMPS

The days that followed were neither easy for Sarah to bear or light for David to carry. Sarah wondered just how she would bring her fourth year to completion. How would she be able to carry the pregnancy to term? She felt a heavy anger towards her friend Joyce for recommending a birth control method that failed. But just how a Copper IUD failed…. she could not understand. This was also a problem for David. She had also agreed to a Copper IUD after he had researched a little about it. The chances of failure were said to be minimal and considering that it was not a hormonal control method, the Copper T method did not bring imbalances to a woman's hormonal system meaning that someone could remove the copper T and immediately conceive. Their research on the method was agreeable to both and that is the reason they settled for it. But now, here they were. The biggest problem for Sarah would be how to break the news to her parents. She was sure that the news would be devastating to them. She was debating in her mind whether to keep mum until she gave birth or just take courage and face it as it was by telling them the truth. She was stressed and did not sleep well for some days that followed. She had no idea who to tell. Of course, not her friend Joyce because as now, she was very angry at her. Something unusual happened though that made Sarah even more stressed. David was not calling her every day as he normally did and when he did, he didn’t have much to say beyond greetings. During these days, she cried a lot. Why did David seem like he was abandoning her? She did not feel like eating or doing anything. She stayed holed up in her bedsitter house in Kahawa Wendani. Most times by day, she would close all the windows and draw back the curtains to make it dark so that she could stay in bed. When she was completely hungry, she would go to the fridge, pull out milk to eat with some slices of bread. Was the pregnancy to make her lose her relationship with David? Maybe he was not different from the men who show you heaven but run away immediately a challenge appears. Probably they were right, them that said that all men are D**s. Sarah was totally down in the dumps. But she noticed that David had probably not told his family because she still received calls from them every few days. Tabitha called occasionally to ask if all was good. She chose not to receive the call when she was in bad shape but usually called back after trying to straighten herself up. Tabitha never noticed anything. David's mother still called at least twice in a week. She avoided the calls and only called back when she felt better. However, David’s Mother noticed something awkward in her voice and mood and told her that if all was not well, she could go visit her to talk things out. Sarah told her she was okay, only suffering from a cold. David’s mother doubted it especially after the second time she called. David’s mother called David to ask if all was well. He was not in high spirits as normal. She asked exactly what the issue with them was, but David said all was well. David was also down low. He wondered how he would take up a father’s responsibilities. Simply put, he was not ready. He had had other plans. He wanted to establish his own business first in likeness to what he had already experienced in Eric’s Westlands offices. He had become good at programming and would make good business from it. He also had plans to further his studies by doing a master’s degree in software development. With Sarah, he had planned to travel to several world holiday destinations first before settling down to family life but now, he would be a father even before setting foot to Mallorca, which was top of his dream destinations. What to do now? Tabitha. Him and Tabitha were very close. She was always the voice of reason in his life. Every time he was faced with big or difficult decisions, Tabitha gave him advice that always seemed to work. He made up his mind to talk to Tabitha about the pregnancy he and Sarah were faced with. So did David. He called Sarah and set up a meeting for the week that followed.

@ Stephen Mungai

FAMILIES CONNECTION

 FAMILIES CONNECTION

As their relationship grew, David was always proud to introduce Her girlfriend Sarah to his friends and family. Eric, David's cousin, met Sarah first in his Westlands office when David took her along one Friday afternoon. David would then do about 2 hours of his programming project as they chatted away the afternoon. Sarah was easy to relate to and so was David told by Eric afterwards. He thought that David's new girlfriend was a good person. From then henceforth, they were in that office many times and Sarah always got amused at what the two gentlemen did with those laptops. One Sunday as the Joshua's were having their monthly meeting, David told the family that he had a new girlfriend and would come with her during the next meeting. When the next came, David and Sarah were early. Sarah met the whole family. At first, she was nervous but just as an easy person David was to relate to, so was David's family. At first, Sarah spent a lot of time in the kitchen with Hellen, Tabitha and their mother. Sarah told about her home and family as well as how they met and formed a friendship with David. They were all easy to relate to and so Sarah had an easy time blending in. When the meeting officially began, David formerly introduced Sarah as his girlfriend to the family. They were happy for them and wished the pair all good. From that day on, Sarah became like part of the family. Be it visiting Mike's Kitengela home and playing with the kids who became very fond of her or getting calls from David's mum to check on her; she became like one of them. However, it took quite a long time before David met Sarah's family. Sarah had mentioned to her parents about her relationship, but both were a little sceptical, encouraging her to focus instead on her studies. It took so much effort for Sarah to try convincing them that she was in control and knew exactly what she was doing. Afterwards whenever they talked on phone, the mother always asked about David and Sarah would tell her stories including visits to David's family. Sarah's father, however, remained tightlipped regarding the subject, only sharing his reservations with his wife on the issue. David had always wanted to visit Sarah's home and when Sarah had planned with her parents, time came for the visit. David borrowed his father's Honda CRV vehicle and took along with him his best friend Nick. Sarah was also with her friend Joyce for the trip. They did some foodstuffs shopping and set out for Kitui. From Kitui town, it was another ride of more than 70KM to Ivinga-Nzia village. The village, then, looked quite remote with no electricity connection. Water was sourced from distant cisterns and carried on cattle pulled carts. The houses were made of clay bricks and iron sheet roofs. They all had a good time enjoying Muthokoi and the family telling village stories to the visitors. David had a lot of time spent with Musau, Sarah's brother, discussing school and college plans. Musau was waiting to join campus later in the year, also hoping to do IT. Sarah's other siblings were younger. Syokau was in form two and the last born Mutinda in class 8. The trip was good, and David felt that their relationship would become much stronger now, with their families involved. 

@Stephen Mungai

THE NSE AND A TALE OF TWO INVESTORS

 THE NSE AND A TALE OF TWO INVESTORS

I have noticed a big hype over the last few months as regards investing in the stock market. I have also got questions from a number of my friends on how to go about investing in the stock market and hopefully, I answered in a helpful way. Having invested in Nairobi Stock Exchange(NSE) before, am not so much of a greenhorn in this area but maybe to delve more on the subject could be helpful to someone. But first, for the sake of someone who doesn't want to read further, we can hereby summarise this whole story by saying that making money from NSE requires character which we can also call patience. The second thing is understanding the business of the company whose shares one wants to purchase including prospects for future profitability. For patience, if you cannot lock your money for one year without meaningful profits or growth of your investment, maybe the stock market is not for you. Just to explain, KPC has an IPO chance for investors to buy shares until 19th this month and so, at only 9 bob per share. The question is, should someone  buy the shares or not? An understanding of  business will tell you that KPC enjoys monopoly in storage and distribution of petroleum products in EA region and still growing after recent acquisition of KPRL. It could be a good investment but only for the patient. To illustrate  let's take Safaricom as an example. Safaricom IPO was in 2008 and sold a share at Ksh 5. On the first day trading, shares sold at  Ksh.7 but went later on a downward trend hitting a low of Ksh.2.5 for a long time. The share price rose above the initial Ksh 5. only after 5 years. The same share is Ksh 33 today meaning that the patient over the years are reaping the benefits. Simply put stock trading is more of a long term trade unless one has several millions to make substantial gains with even a shilling change in share price. To conclude is a tale of two investors and we start with yours truly. He understood the businesses of around 5 companies that he bought and true to it between 6 months and one year, he sold out all and made on average close to double the investment but truth be told, he had only invested like 200K in it. Happy exit? Yeah. But he still thought a year was too long and alternatively, he invested in other ventures that promised quick short term returns that never was to be. He can now tell you for free that short term ...huge returns... is most of the time a fallacy. We call the second investor John. He is about 70 if not approaching there and has been in stock business for long. John is a billionaire and one of top ten highest individual investors at the NSE. I used to serve him somewhere and he was very knowledgeable sometimes reading the market months before major shifts. He moved around with an old car manufactured in early 2000's and always wore his trademark white photographer jacket which would sometimes get torn after being worn year after year. Maybe that is the extent of the  patience that is required to succeed at the NSE. But he is top ten at NSE with a portfolio of over 2B but in him, you read patience in walk, talk and conduct. He is wealthy but not bent on showing wealth in pomp and color but rather growing wealthy in strategic painstaking stock trades. He is always growing his portfolio, adding and adding, never concerned about quick gains coz his policy, wealth grows slowly with patient strategic purchase of prospective stocks. And so, even with NSE hype, do not try the stock market if you are a short term investor or short of character because to make wealth in NSE, someone has to be vereeerrrrryyyyy paaaaaatttttiiiiiieeennnnnt. Need I say more?

@Stephen Mungai

THE JOSHUA’S UPGRADE

 

THE JOSHUA’S UPGRADE

Through the help of his daughter, Waitherero, Joshua’s brother Mwangi relocated to California USA. Waitherero was already in California for about 20 years. She had been a nurse for the first 15 years working tirelessly for more than 12 hours a day in 3 jobs. By luck, Waitherero had joined hands with another Kenyan, Kioko as well as another lady, Bianca from Bahamas and started an outpatient nursing business. The business had done very well, unexpectedly beyond expectations. Waitherero’s Mother had passed on about three years before and since then, her father had never been the same, turning out to be a little bit more thoughtful and reclusive. Waitherero and the siblings had noticed a big change in their father’s behavior which made her convince her siblings as well as her dad, to join her in California, so that she could take care of him.  Eventually, Mwangi and her four children; Waitherero, Eric, Justus and Nancy agreed to the idea of Mwangi moving to the US. It was not an easy decision especially for the aging Mwangi but sounded like California would be good quality of life for him in his sunset years. However, before Mwangi’s relocation to the US, several decisions needed to be made especially about his home In Kitisuru and his clearing and forwarding business. It was decided that all would meet so that a decision could be made as regards. For both, none of Mwangi’s children was willing to be involved because they themselves were successful in their own chosen fields. The house, no one wanted to live in the same house that they grew up in as Kids. A decision was finally made to sell the house and first, close relatives would be given priority if any were interested. As a result, Mwangi met his brother Joshua taking time to convince him to buy the house and of course, Mwangi was selling it to him way below the market rate with a flexible prolonged payment plan. This would be in addition to Mwangi’s shares in full in the clearing and forwarding company that he co-owned. It took time and consultations with his family but eventually, Joshua agreed to move to Kitisuru. His Kitengela home was to be left for Mike, but he would also pay an agreed amount periodically and eventually buy it off. That money from Mike and more would be used by Joshua to supplement the payment plan for the Kitisuru home. When time came for Mwangi to move, he did and three months after a few look-up changes to the house, Joshua’s moved to their new home in Kitisuru. In the same period, Mike also moved to the Kitengela home, and everything looked like an upgrade for the Joshua Family. Joshua and the wife particularly loved the new environment, which was much quieter, cool and fresh. By the time the Joshua’s moved into the new home, the couple had no children in the house but for weekend visits by their children and grandchildren. The monthly meeting remained and all would gather in their Kitisuru home every second Sunday of the month as was the family’s custom. Ruth was now a form 1 student at Ruchu Girls High school in Murang’a. David was still in 4^th year and was now close to completing his IT degree at KU. Sebuleni restaurants were doing very well. Mike and Hellen were tasked with looking for a new location for yet another branch. And so were Joshua’s on another upgrade.

@Stephen Mungai

DAVID’S NEW GIRLFRIEND; SARAH

 

DAVID’S NEW GIRLFRIEND; SARAH

David could not quite wait for Thursday to try and pick a conversation with Sarah. He stayed awed the whole week that followed their encounter in class, by Sarah’s sense of presence and the aura that filled the area between them, that first time they met. Come to the next class the following Thursday, David was about 40 minutes early in class. He was hoping to see Sarah somewhere, but she wasn’t in. A little disappointed and as was his custom, he went straight to the back of the class, found a place and sat. He got his Programming book out of the bag to try and read something, but his concentration was poor. After about 10 minutes, he saw Sarah Walk in. She came straight towards the back but to the other side of the room. David lifted his gaze and could not get his eyes off her. Sarah looked down and when she noticed that David’s eyes were still on her, she raised her hand and waved at him. David waved back but Sarah went to the extreme opposite side of the lecture hall, removed her books and began to flip the pages. David had a difficult time concentrating. Five minutes before the class began, David remained but saw Sarah move to the front. The class ended. Sarah was out again before David would catch up with her. David made up his mind that he would not take more chances the following week. He promised himself to sit next to her, introduce himself and keep the conversation going. So came the following week. David walked into the lecture room 15 minutes earlier, saw Sarah at the back of the room, went straight to her, greeted her and sat right next to her. He introduced himself and they had a chit-chat before Sarah said that she needed to move to the front seats. David said that he would also go with her and try a different sitting place. So, he did. After the class, they both walked out together conversing. They stood outside for a few minutes before saying bye to each other. David was so relieved to have had the courage to talk to her. He was excited. It felt good to be around her. She was truly beautiful, and her personality was also cool, relaxed and relaxing to be around. David had not felt this good ever around a woman. Of course she was beautiful. Talk of the face, the hair, front, back and side curves---the legs, the arms…the whole of her was clearly the work of a perfect sculptor that God is. Apart from her beauty though, there was something amazing about her that David could not quite explain. A special presence that felt good to be around. The weeks that followed were not different. David always sat next to Sarah in that class. A friendship developed between them and not long afterwards, David asked her out for a date which she was agreeable to. That date was special. It was in java house near parliament. They sat at one corner in the evening from around 4:00 PM from where they enjoyed coffee with pieces of cakes. Sarah tried out a black forest piece while David ordered his favorite Carrot cake. They talked a lot about everything and had an excellent time together. More outings followed and they became too close. David eventually asked Sarah to be his girlfriend, which she agreed. They started dating and with time, David started introducing her to his family and friends, especially during events and parties that they went together. Sarah’s family and friends also began to know David. It felt good for the two, but Sarah remained a little skeptical. She had heard so many negative things about campus relationships and men. She hoped that Her’s would be different.

@Stephen Mungai 

COMMUNICATIONS 101: THE BACKBENCHERS

 COMMUNICATIONS 101: THE BACKBENCHERS

David was in 4th year doing IT and loving it. He had dutifully attended most of his classes save for the times he needed to attend to something in the family business or the Clearing and forwarding business whose shares, the dad had taken over from his uncle, Mwangi. Still to be done though was a mandatory common course, communications 101. He registered for it and began to attend the classes. From his days in primary school, David loved to be a backbencher. This was not only because he loved to do other personal things as the lectures progressed but also that he disliked the Front benchers especially those who asked endless questions or liked conversations with the lecturers.  He was also an early person to class and when he came in, he would walk to the seats at the very back. Sarah on the other hand preferred to come to class one hour or 30 minutes before time either to have a short preparation before class began or to remind herself of what had been taught in the previous class. That way, she always felt part of the class and would be able to follow up during lecture progress. Every time Sarah came into a class, she would go right behind to do her prep thing and then move forward around 5 minutes before the class began. It was at the backbenches of the Communication 101 class that David met Sarah. On the 2^nd week of the class, which was usually Thursdays from 2 to 4 PM, David walked into class and right behind there sat a lady attentively reading something. She had short, unplaited hair. She wore a black, white polka dotted dress, a front buttoned navy blue pullover and some black closed leather shoes. As David approached the back area, Sarah lifted her face to see the gentleman approaching. David had a glance at her beautiful face and was filled with awe. She then buried her head back into her book. David came and sat on a seat an arm’s length distance away. ‘Hallo’ he greeted. ‘Hallo to you, “Sarah replied. ‘Are you here for Comms 101’, David enquired. ‘Yes. But I must finish something before that’, Sarah replied. ‘Okay. Good day then’, Said David. ‘Good day too’ Replied Sarah as she went on flipping her book. David sat there not being able to do much but wishing that the conversation could go on. He was also reading a programming book occasionally stealing glances at Sarah. That was like 20 minutes before the lecture began. As time went by, more students came in in increasing numbers and five minutes before time, Sarah picked up her things as David was looking. ‘I have to move a little bit to the front,’ she said to him. ‘That’s okay, “David replied. So, Sarah moved to the front as David remained at the same place. So, the class progressed and ended some minutes before 4.00 PM. When the class ended, there was a strong urge inside David to follow Sarah out to progress the conversation, but another voice told him to let go. Before he could move out, he noticed Sarah Walk out but there were many students ahead of him and by the time he got out, Sarah was nowhere to be seen. David had no more lectures that day and so went home to his apartment in Kahawa Sukari. He made himself Ugali with scrambled eggs and continued to do the programming work that Eric had assigned to him. He could not well get that lady, Sarah, out of his mind and looked forward to the next comms 101 lecture. Hopefully to see her again.

@Stephen Mungai